Ramblings from My Soul

Hope is a tricky thing especially when it comes to waiting. It's like throwing a die. Five sides tell you that the person you are waiting for will come. You feel confident about the winning odds after the wait. It's the sixth side that does the painful trick because even after all the odds were in your favor, that even with all the five sides that you have been rooting for, you got that one miserable side. You throw the dice. You wait, patiently. But nothing comes. No one comes. You realize you have been waiting for nothing. And then it strikes you. The last goodnight that person sent to you was, in fact, a goodbye. And then you know it's over.

While on the brink of wallowing and self-pity because I got sick when I'm in the most relaxed schedule I've had in six months, I decided to apply the emotional intelligence skill of creating positive emotions by going through the teacher evaluation done by my students for the past school year. Trust me, you read some hilarious ones in there. Take the next line for example. It started out okay, then I got scared. "You are my most respected teacher… I want to make you proud... I will kill for you... You are the wind beneath my wings." Good thing the last sentence was there. It made me realize that it really is just a joke. I thought I had an assassin under my command. There's this one that said: "You look like Thranduil in the movie the Hobbit!" I know I'm not that tall but a hobbit, really? Good thing Google told me Thranduil is an elf. Phew! There are also prophetic ones like "I consider you as a good mentor and someday I k...

"Ma, I'll get his green squeaky toy," I said as I was about to get out from the car. "No," replied my mother, "just leave it in the house so we can have something to remind us of him." "He has other toys. Let's have the the green one, his very first toy, buried with him," I insisted. My mother agreed, "Okay." It's still 6AM and there's already much ado about our dog named Odie. My mother and I are in the car. We are discussing, with tears in our eyes, how we will bury our much-loved family member. While on our way, we reminisced our days with Odie. The times he would sniff our scent and hear the sound of our gate keys even if it's far from where he is inside the house and joyfully welcome us when we get inside. The times he would poke our knees during meals to ask us for table food. The times he, with puppy eyes and his adorable-tongue-out expression, would ask us to play with him. Digging his grave...

Doing the grocery was not part of my to-do list today. However, the opportunity to do so presented itself while I was in a mall that I rarely frequent. While I was at it, I saw somebody that I know who I haven't seen in a long time. Why is this chance meeting significant, you ask? Because I have always believed that when you meet people by chance and you haven't seen or heard from them from the longest time, the Universe is trying to tell you something through that person. It might sound weird but I think that during the time that both of you haven't seen each other, they've learned new things about life which you could learn through them. Sometimes, in an interesting way, it's the other way around. You may have a message to tell them; a life lesson they could learn from you. There are no such things as "chance" meetings. Hugo Cabret eloquently put it: "I'd imagine the whole world as one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts,...

If today were my last day, I would shed off every pound of unnecessary qualms in my life. I would not heed the disquiets of my mind. If today were my last day, I would embrace all the memories of my life with fondness. I would relish every ounce of opportunity  to hammer on these keys or whisper to the ears of my loved ones how much they matter to me. I would savor every inch of nostalgia from all the moments spent with them. If today were my last day, I would make sure that each step I'm taking is on the mile leading to my dreams and passion. If today I witnessed my last sunrise, I would revel in its profound beauty knowing that within its unfathomable depths lie the wisdom that I am exactly where I should be.

Music has always been an important part of my life. One of the vivid memories I have of it is how I eagerly listen to my parents' vinyl records every Sunday morning when I was a kid. Up until now, I can hear in my mind the crisp static-like sound at the start of every record or when there is a transition from one song to another. My aunt is my biggest musical influence. She stayed with us for a couple of years and she would play the guitar while we were tending to our sari-sari store. During the summer and semester breaks, we would flip over the pages of song hits and song books. Unfortunately, this was during my puberty years. So you can just imagine how often my voice would crack when I sing. Fortunately, my aunt was kind enough not to mind it and encouraged me continue liking music (even if it didn't like me in return, as the common joke would go).    All these fond memories came back to me when I attended Cattski Espina's music appreciation session last October 17...

Before anyone jumps to the conclusion that this is an essay on soft, gooey, mushy love, be forewarned that it is not. But this is going to be a short article on a kind of love that is as grand as any other form of love. It is about love and counseling. I got reacquainted today with the reason why I took up Psychology. I wanted to be a guidance counselor. This might come as unexpected to some of my friends and may even draw a laugh from a few but yeah, I wanted to become one. This afternoon, I was blessed to have been a part of the facilitating team for one of the activities of the Counseling Seminar for our third year students. I realized that the rush that I got was the same high as when I do training. The experience made me wonder where I would be right now if I took that path. Coincidentally, when I got home from this activity, I watched the movie Heaven is Real. There was a line in the movie that struck a deep chord. It said that "The one thing this love requires is to...